I’ve been troubled recently by this topic, and have been giving it some thought. I’ve been troubled before, but then other topics seem more pressing. Also, I do not like to share my opinions if I haven’t thought it through.
The Church is to be the beacon of hope, to show the world the values of the Kingdom. I think I’ve been troubled about this because I perceive that there is no voice speaking boldly on this subject. The Church and World are in apparent agreement. How odd, since the subject of adultery is spoken of time and again in the Bible is an obvious sin and afront to God’s plans for the earth.
I risk going very very long in this post, and so I’m going to attempt to abbreviate my points. Hopefully there aren’t too many jumps in logic.
I hold that Jesus clearly taught that adultery is any marriage when either spouse’s first spouse is still living. Romans 7:1-3 is quite clear, plus Jesus speaks of this several times, not returning to the Mosaic law (which may bind Jews in the OT but wouldn’t necessarily bind us) but to Genesis and God’s original design of marriage. Any justifications or modifications that man would attempt to derive from the OT, then, seem futile since Jesus was faced with these arguments and simply said that marriage is from the beginning of the creation in God’s plan. It is therefore universal and not bound by religion, standing before God, or any other qualifier.
The ‘exception clause’ in Matthew 5:32 gets a lot of interest, and stops looking like the exception when used in endless cases to justify adultery. Rather, it is likely that Jesus was either describing the betrothal period in Jewish tradition and/or speaking of illicit marriages as the greek word porneia seems to indicate (harlotry including adultery and incest). In other words, if the marriage was illicit because it was one of adultery or incest, then it would actually be appropriate for the man to put away his wife and cease from the illicit marriage.
I’ve heard several creative methods for dealing with the straight-forward reading of Jesus’ words, and all of them have left me feeling completely unconvinced. Among them are the ‘what about children born to the adulterers’ and some sort of ‘what if my spouse leaves me’ and ‘things are different after you are a believer’. I will not give these much time since they are logical fallacies, which I will show.
In most marriage vows, the language is telling: do you TAKE to be YOUR(s) UNTIL DEATH? It is a possession that cannot be discarded, it ends in death. Though a person leaves their spouse, the possession cannot be discarded. It is irrevocable. Further, you cannot have more than one true spouse as Romans 7 clearly shows. You are bound by the covenant. Any other relationship is illicit. Until death breaks the covenant.
It was universally understood that Herod was violating God’s law by marrying another man’s wife.
An adulterer cannot inherit the Kingdom of Heaven (1 Corinthians 6:9). If you have joined yourself in marriage to another though you are the possession of your true spouse or though they are the possession of another, you cannot inherit the Kingdom of Heaven.
If the Church cannot or will not denounce adultery by all forms and in all ways among Her people, how can the world hope to see any light at all? Romans 2:22 is especially sobering….there aren’t exceptions based on time lapsing, children born, all-things-new justifications, incompatibilities, marriage infidelity…
If you find yourself in this situation, the remedy with God is always the same. Repent and forsake. Cease from your evil. If you had stolen lands and money and had ruined the name of another and wanted to repent and return to God, what would you do? Repent, restore, forsake evil. Restore the spouse to the rightful owner. Dispossess that which is not yours.
As an aside, an adulterous marriage is still considered a legal marriage in our society, and apparently was in the life of Jesus. That doesn’t mean it isn’t/wasn’t an illicit marriage. Gain gotten legally does not mean it was gotten righteously.
I could go through a number of yea-buts but first I would advise you to run your yea-but through a logical analysis. Does it measure up? I haven’t found any that do and would be more than happy to do the analysis with you if you are stumped by a real zinger of a question or situation.